lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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