she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
