i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
