bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh god it's open bar.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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