Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
