we have officially lost it.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
