you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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