yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
