Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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