Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
