it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
