going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
