He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
