Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
