Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Let's get the cat blown out
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize