p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
