shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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