Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize
