Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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