I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you had me at cake vodka
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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