She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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