Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
