plz talk dirty to me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
