I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
