Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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