Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
