he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
