That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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