He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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