We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
