You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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