That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
