Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
