her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
