are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
