I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
