omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
