Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
