A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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