I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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