I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
