Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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