I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its not stalking. its research.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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