i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
