ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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