"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
