oh god the rape fog is back!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
