your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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