"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
