It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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