Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
