but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
