I'm gonna have a badass scar
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
