I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize