Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
