I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
