It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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