I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
