She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize