you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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