So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Help me help you realize you are a moron
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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