in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
