My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
