Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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