She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize