drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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